Maybe you or your partner have been struggling with substance abuse, and your relationship is suffering as a result. Perhaps you’ve both been trying to overcome this issue, but trying to support each other through the process hasn’t been enough.
There’s no doubt that substance abuse takes a toll on individuals. But addiction isn’t just a problem for one person. It can also affect your connection with your partner and change the way you relate to one another. It’s possible to recover from this issue, yet it’s also important to understand why substance is so detrimental to relationships. Let’s explore how substance abuse can interfere with healthy romantic connections.
Difficulty Managing Responsibilities
When someone in a relationship is grappling with substance abuse, managing basic domestic resp
onsibilities can become impossible. One partner might consistently forget to clean up, make dinner, run errands, book appointments, or perform other everyday tasks. Sometimes, they might be completely incapable of carrying out these tasks. This means that all of these responsibilities fall on one person’s shoulders. A situation like this can breed resentment, and it quickly becomes unsustainable.
Financial Troubles
Someone who is dealing with substance abuse may have difficulty holding down a job, finding work, or managing their money. They might spend their savings on their substance of choice, draining cash from mutual accounts to cover the costs. Additionally, when someone is under the influence, budgeting is usually the last thing on their minds.
In the long run, this often means less money is available for covering essential costs like housing, car payments, groceries, and more. It can also be very difficult to save for long-term expenses like retirement. One person may end up being responsible for bringing in nearly all of the household income.
Lack of Trust
An individual who has turned to substance abuse as a coping mechanism can be hard to trust. Maybe you’ve asked your partner about their substance abuse in the past, and instead of opening up, they’ve tried to downplay their habits. You may have tried to motivate your partner to seek support, but rather than explore their options, they feigned interest in making a change and then slipped back into old routines.
Substance abuse clouds the truth. If your partner is frequently under the influence, they may not be able to tell you where they’ve been, what they’ve been doing, or who they’ve been with. This can contribute to ongoing trust and communication issues.
Potential for Abuse
Not everyone who struggles with addiction abuses their partner emotionally or physically. However, when someone is under the influence, they might act out in regrettable ways. Even if they would never act the same way while sober, the impact of their actions still hurts their partner. There is a high potential for emotional, physical, and financial abuse when one partner deals with substance abuse.
Isolation From Friends and Family
In a relationship where one partner is living with substance abuse, it’s all too easy for the couple to become isolated. You may have lost friends because of your partner’s substance abuse, or your family members may have pulled back from supporting you both.
Alternatively, you might be trying to hide your partner’s troubles with substance abuse from your loved ones. As a result, you may decline invitations to group events, holiday parties, or vacations, especially if people will be drinking. They may be concerned, but it’s not easy to open up.
Are you or your partner struggling to overcome substance abuse? We’re here to support you through couples therapy, and we invite you to contact our practice to discuss your options.
Author: Stephanie Saari
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. I love working with couples and individuals to find strength, growth and empowerment through their struggles and challenges.
